Wednesday, April 30, 2014

My Name Is Jessica, And I Am A Food Addict

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I've been asked a couple of times when I was going to post an update. 
The truth is, I've been avoiding. 
I love that therapeutic term...avoiding. 
I've been avoiding the topic. 
I've been avoiding my health coach...sorry Liz. 
I'm been avoiding the scale. 
I've been plain old avoiding. 
Why? Because I fell to my addiction...again. 

Ya see, for some. This whole weight loss thing isn't just about motivation. 
It isn't just about a good diet or healthy lifestyle.
It isn't just about exercise. 
It is so much more. 
It is a deep rooting struggle inside that you can only fight on your own for so long. 

The key words here: on your own. 
I have a dear family member who is so close to my heart who also happens to be an addict. Apparently addictive personalities run in the family. 
Anyways, he very tactfully told me that he was just going to say what he had to say to me once and then he'd never bring it up again. 
But coming from him it meant so much to me because he knows. He gets it. 
He said to me, "I've heard the way you talk about food. 
I've heard the way you talk about all of this and I'm telling you right now, that until you get your stuff straight with God 
and lean on him, nothing is going to work."
He said, "Once you get your stuff worked out with God, everything else will fall into place." 
And you know what. I believe him. 
I have my first meeting is on Friday, 
it is similar to AA but provided by my church. 
I'm not sure what to expect.
I'm afraid. I'd like to avoid. 
But I can't. 
It's time to admit...
My name is Jessica, and I am a Food Addict. 

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2 comments:

  1. You are so brave. Everyone has challenges, but not everyone takes the right steps to get help or share their struggles with the world.

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  2. I am so proud of you. You are such an inspiration to me. I know exactly what you mean about food addiction. I have fallen off the wagon the last month...and I am so "embarrassed and ashamed". I know I shouldn't be so hard on myself but I have seen my old habits creep in. Sometimes I think it is partially fear...I'm afraid to be "skinny". Other times I think maybe I am the excuses of always being stressed will be apart of my daily life (and it has been particularly "bad" this past month).

    I guess what I am trying to say is that I love you, I feel for you, I cheer for you, and I understand the struggles. Keep going! You are amazing!

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